A Lifetime Away
by dandelionnwishes
Summary: An epilogue. The horror of it all strikes me. Pregnant? This is something I vowed would never happen. Ever. It is a different world now but the nightmares are ever present. We'll get through it though. Together. Like always. Everlark. Katniss and Peeta's life after the war.
1. Good Morning, Sweetheart

**So this is an epilogue. I'll admit not much happens in the first chapter but you gotta start somewhere! Some classic Peeta and Katniss sweetness going on(; So puhhlease read to the end and let me know what you think.**

I roll over and sense his absence. My eyes open sleepily and I stretch my arms, yawning. I look out the window of our room and see the sun rise. A gorgeous orange, his favorite color. I smile slightly as the memories resurface of the time he first told me that. It felt so long ago, and it was. Nearly, fifteen years ago we sat on those train tracks heading for the Victor's Tour.

So much has changed since then, with Gale no longer in my life, my mother gone and Prim...the list goes on and on. I miss them all terribly of course, but Peeta has helped me let them go. He helps me remember the good times and the positive things about them, not their horrid, tragic deaths.

I look down at the ring on my finger. He had the pearl he gave to me in the Quarter Quell set in a bronze circle that I wear always. Always. We had a small wedding and the toasting of course. We didn't really care much about the ceremony, we just wanted to be married. And now we are, almost 15 wonderful years.

A memory is brought to the front of my mind, _"You could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve him," said Haymitch._

And he was, _is _right. I don't deserve his unfailing love for me, how he provides for me, always knowing what I need. I used to question it all the time. I even brought it up once to Peeta.

_"I don't deserve this."_

_ "What?" he asked._

_ "You," I replied simply._

_ He cupped his hand under my chin and tilted my face up towards his. "You're wrong. I almost killed you on several occasions." _

_ He must be trying extra hard to cheer me up because he hates talking about that. When he was hijacked. When he was convinced I was a mutt trying to kill him, to kill everyone. _

_ "Stop," I whisper at the painful memories. I close my eyes trying to shut them out but they rush to my mind too quickly. Peeta trying to choke me. Peeta commenting about Annie. They all start playing in my mind and I can't do anything to stop them. It was an awful place without Peeta. The real Peeta that is. Without his love for me, I barely survived. Sometimes, he still has episodes but they aren't as bad and they normally pass quickly._

_ When I become aware of my surroundings again, Peeta is gently pressing his lips against mine. He pulls back when my eyes flutter open. _

_ "I don't deserve to be able to love you," he says quietly as he brushes a stray hair and tucks it behind my ear. That made me feel better. Pretty much anything Peeta says makes me feel better._

I hadn't brought it up again since then because I hadn't felt the need to. I felt reassured. I believe we don't deserve most things in life. The good and the bad. Well, okay yes sometimes the bad.

I toss the covers off my legs and throw on some clothes. I descend the the stairs and peek in the kitchen. Now there's a surprise. Normally Peeta is in there making breakfast. He'll smile up at me from the stove and say "Good morning, beautiful". I used to fight that comment but I have learned to accept it. He would say it wether I liked it or not and it would probably give him slightly more satisfaction if I didn't like it.

I grab a thick wooly sweater hanging by the door and slip it on. I step out onto the porch and breath the fresh crisp air. It is March, the month where the weather can never make up its mind. It seemed to choose cold today. Not unbearable cold but a refreshing cold. I wrap the sweater tighter around me and tip toe around the corner of the house.

He sits there, blond hair glowing in the early morning sunlight. I see his hands moving precisely over over a sheet of paper. Peeta must be sketching the glorious sight. He is so focused on his work he doesn't hear me walk up behind him. The dew on the grass feels cold on my bare feet.

I stay behind him for a minute admiring his work. The way his tan hands move across the page so effortlessly creating the scene before him. I wrap my arms around his neck and lightly kiss his cheek.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he says.

I can see only the profile of his face but I can tell he is smiling. I brush my hand across his rough sketch, "It's beautiful."

"Wait until I get some color on there," he says thoughtfully. An intense look comes over his face as he envisions the ending image. I watch his blond eyelashes as he blinks then I rest my chin on his shoulder.

"What is your favorite color?" I say with a hint of a laugh.

"Orange," he replies with a smile that shows his brilliant white teeth.

"Orange? Like Effie's hair?" I say in a pretend shocked voice.

"A bit more muted...more like sunset," he says. He is laughing now, being reminded of the fond memory when we agreed to be friends.

"I can see it now," I whisper in his ear, smiling as well.

**Hopefully updating tomorrow, but no promises. Reviews would be greatly appreciated give me your thoughts and what you think I could do better as well as any ideas you might want me to try. Please review it takes like less then a minute and gives me motivation. Anyway...if you read all this I love you to death! Muahhh **

**xoxodandelionnwishes**


	2. A Dance in the Rain

**Thank you all so much! I got over 150 hits in less than 24 hrs. Ahhhh, so exciting. I loved the reviews and I'm sorry to those I didn't reply to but you were anonymous so I couldn't answer your questions. Andrea- yes this story is still active! Haha(: Well, here is some more Everlark ****adorableness. Enjoy(:**

We sit there, watching the sun rise. The clouds were starting to roll in, obscuring the sun. I lay down with my head in his lap.

He was stroking my hair and it made me sleepy. He paused for a second.

"I have the best wife in the world. Real or not real?" he said with a smirk.

"Definitely not real, Peeta."

"Oh and why not," he asks playfully, resuming his stroking of my hair.

"I can't cook, I'm not pretty, and I am just plain awful at romance," I reply quite seriously.

"Matter of opinion," he says easily. "Oh except for the cooking part you're right about that. You are an awful cook."

I prop myself up on my elbows and lean my head back so I can see his face.

"Why you little-" He cuts me off with a kiss and we lose ourselves in it. He pulls back for a breath and I turn around to face

him, "I'm still mad at you." I cross my arms and act like a little child, but I'm smiling making the act pretty unbelievable. I

clearly am not mad at him.

"Hey, you're the one who said it. I just elaborated it," he replies wittily.

I scoff as a reply because he's right, as usual. I hardly ever tell him that to his face of course. It was starting to get dark

outside. The clouds must be winning the battle with the sun, choking it out. I stand up to go inside and eat some breakfast. I

ruffle his hair as I pass by him and he grabs my leg. "Where do you think you're going?" he inquires flirtatiously.

"To get something to eat, because you didn't make breakfast this morning," I say putting my hand on my hip. He stands up,

"Sorry, I'll make you something now." He's not really that sorry, he just doesn't want me sarcastically mad at him the rest of

the day. He laces his fingers in mine and I gently pulled him towards the front of our house. "Slacker," I mutter just loud

enough for him to hear me.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing," I say with an innocent look. Peeta grabs my other hand and pulls me towards him.

"I love you more then you could ever know," he says planting a kiss on my forehead.

I lean into him, "I think I have an idea of how much." I wrap my arms around his neck lay my head against his chest. I close

my eyes and listen to the steady beat of his heart.

"Sometimes I still can't believe you're mine," he says dreamily. I look up into his clear blue eyes and say, "You better believe it

because I am completely and wholly yours and yours alone."

The way he smiles down at me could outshine the sun. We both lean in very close and I only get the chance to whisper "I

love you," before we're interrupted. _BOOM._ The thunder clashes and within seconds we are soaked. The raindrops are freezing

cold. I gasp and look again into his eyes. We both start laughing immediately. Before I know what is happening he spins me

around.

I lock my fingers around his neck. He sets me down for a second and we press our foreheads together. Raindrops dripping

down our faces, we press our cold, blue lips together. I unlock my fingers from around his neck. Peeta catches my hand as it

slides down his arm.

"May I have this dance?" he asks with a slight bow and a ridiculous grin.

"Yes, you may you insane man, you," I say while curtsying. He laughs at that and we dance twirl in the rain. We step in time

with the thunder waltzing haphazordously around our lawn. When we finally have the sense to go inside so we don't catch

colds, we sit by the fire sipping hot cocoa. We wrap ourselves in a blanket, our moist skin and clothes pressing against one

another. I rest my head on his shoulder and stare at fire. My eyelids getting heavier every time I blink until finally I can't open

them.

**Yeah, I know it was short. Sorry, I just wanted to get it posted. Thanks for reading and click the review button please! Third chapter tomorrow...maybe... xoxodandelionnwishes**


	3. Just One Phone Call

**So here is chapter 3. I have 217 hits nowwww(: But please keep 'em coming as well as reviews, you guys are slacking a bit on those...(; Well, enjoy!**

When we wake up it is mid afternoon. The embers are still glowing in the fireplace. The sun is shining the way it does only after a storm, a brilliant rainbow beside it. I place my chin on my hand and my hand on his chest.

We gaze at each other for a little while before the phone rings. "I'll get it," I say as I climb over him and scramble to the phone.

"Hello, Mellark residence." I just love the sound of that.

I am completely unprepared for the voice that answers on the other side.

"Hey, Catnip."

"Gale?" It is clearly Gale but I'm just so shocked.

"Yeah. Who else calls you Catnip?" he says sarcastically. Oh Gale, I think.

I hadn't talked to him since that awful day. I hadn't planned on it either. I mean I have nothing to say to him, so why is he calling me now? It has been fifteen long years. I'm guessing he has bad news for me since he knows better then to call me when we aren't on good terms.

"Nobody. What's wrong?"

"How did you know something is wrong?" he asks.

He is stalling, I can tell. And did he really just ask the question how did you know something is wrong? We were best friends for years you idiot. That's what I wanna say but for once in my life I hold my tongue. "I could tell by your voice. So, what's wrong?" I press.

Not one to beat around the bush he says, "Katniss, you're mother isn't doing well." I swallow hard. Peeta is standing next to me now, he could probably tell that something was wrong. One, by the way I was talking and two because hardly anyone ever calls us. Except occasionally Haymitch.

My mother, not doing well? One of the few people that survived that cursed war, one of the few people I love that is still alive, one of the few people that I never imagined life without. I used to think I wouldn't care but now when the reality of it all hits...it hurts, a lot. How ironic too, I mean my mother is always the one healing others yet she can't save herself.

"Katniss..." says the voice beside me. Peeta places a hand on my shoulder and the other on my cheek. I try to avoid looking at his face but he shifts mine towards his. I blink and a tear drops.

"What is it?" he asks gently.

Instead of responding I ask Gale, "How bad is she?" My voice is shaking. By the deep breath Gale takes my guess is that she is awful. So I close my eyes tight and brace myself for the blow.

"She's on her deathbed. I don't know how long she has it could be days it could be months. All I know is she is not rebounding from this. She's not getting better," he says firmly. This has got to be so awkward for him. Not talking to a girl you loved for fifteen years because she hates you and when you finally do talk to her you have to tell her that her mother is dying.

"Thank you for telling me," I say stonily because I don't want to lose it. I don't want him to think of me as unstable even if I am. My hand shakes as I go to hang up the phone but before I do he quietly says, "I'm so sorry, Katniss." He isn't referring to just the health of my mother or even that he has to be the one to tell the bad news. Gale is apologizing for everything he ever did wrong to me, for killing my sister. Well, that won't bring her back. Now I start shaking all over. I start sobbing not just for my mother but for Prim and Rue who was just like her. And Rue reminds of Thresh who spared my life and thinking of Thresh makes me think of every child that had to die in the Hunger Games. All the nightmares are coming back with just one phone call.

I throw myself into Peeta's arms and he stands there holding me. Peeta doesn't even ask why I'm crying. He just lets me get it all out; he'll ask questions later but he won't press for an answer. He'll let me talk all night if I want or just hold me in silence. Right now I just need him to comfort me with his arms not his words. He picks me up and I press my face tightly under his chin. He carries me to the couch.

We sit there for an hour and I just cry and cry. I think about all the awful events not that happened just to me but to others. The horrid things we all had to endure. After a little while I start convulsing. Peeta rubs my back and shushes me. He rushes to grab a bin just in time and I retch into it, now very happy that I didn't eat breakfast.

"Sh, sh, you need to calm down. You've gotten yourself so worked up, I don't want you sick again."

He is referring to last week when I couldn't get out of bed because of headaches and nausea. I try to obey him. I try to take slow even breaths as he wipes the tears away from my face. I look in those kind, caring eyes of his and I am able to settle down a little.

"There, that's better," he says, running a hand through my hair. My nose is running and my face is wet and red. I have another wave of nausea and he holds back my hair while I throw up. At last, I don't think I could possibly have anymore to come back up so I lean back on the couch. Peeta sets the bin down on the ground and drapes his arm around me.

"Every once in a while, you have to have a breakdown. You can never forget what you've been through or who you've lost," he says and I hang onto to every word, "we are way better off then we used to be."

That's true. I remember when the nightmares would wake me up every night and I was lucky if I even got to fall asleep. I still have the nightmares, of course. We both do, but not every single night. I think back to when I couldn't go a day without a breakdown. When I couldn't look outside at the primroses without thinking of her. I would bring out my rope and tie knots but it would only make me think of Finnick. And Annie. And how he never got to see their child. Children. I still refuse to have them even though Peeta brings it up often. I cannot have kids. Even though they won't have to attend the reaping or participate in the Hunger Games. We will still have to tell the kids our horror stories and I don't think I can do that.

We sit there tangled around one another and think about our twisted lives and how much better things have gotten. The ironic thing is things aren't that much better. The Hunger Games are gone though which is an enormous improvement in its self.

**This one is a bit longer to make up for the shortness of the last chapter. I probably won't be updating for a while with the school week ahead and all. So, I love y'all who read this and have favorited it and subscribed. Keep 'em coming! And you really should click that review button if you feel like making somebody happy(: xoxodandelionnwishes**


	4. An Episode

**Hello beautiful people(; Here is the next chapter...obviously. Thanks to all who reviewed! You guys are amazing. Andrea- I will probably update twice a week but I don't know for sure...and THANK YOUUU!(: Sierra-Haha, thanks, sweetheart! I will def think about your suggestions! This chapter is a little bit longer!(: Yayy. I updated a lot sooner then I thought I'd be able too, but it for sure will be a while before the next update so I give you this somewhat cliffhanger chapter...**

After I recover from my little meltdown...alright, big meltdown, we begin making supper. Peeta kneads the dough for fresh bread while I properly slice the meat. I still hunt for fresh meat sometimes, it just tastes so much better than what is imported from the Capitol. Also, it gives me something to do.

Peeta runs the bakery, paints, and draws. I never really had a talent anyway. You are supposed to pick one after you become a victor of the Hunger Games but I never found one I enjoyed or was good at. I lied about my talent; Cinna did it for me. Oh, Cinna, with your wonderful masterpieces of clothing, he could make a simple Seam girl like me look stunning. I miss him, dearly. His ending was pretty despicable. Although, they all were. "What do you think they would be doing, if they were alive now?" I ask suddenly.

Peeta gives me a quizzical look. I answer while the question is still on his lips, "Prim. Cinna. Rue. Finnick. If they were alive...what do you think they would have done with the rest of their lives?"

This is not the sort of thing I bring up often so he takes a minute to answer.

"Prim would be living here with us, healing all of District 12," he is treading lightly on the subject, probably since I just had a breakdown. I smile at that thought. Yes, she would. She loved Peeta, if they had been able to spend more time together I feel that they would've been very good friends.

"Yes she would, and play in the meadow...pick flowers..." I trail off thinking about what life would be like. I set down the knife I'm using as I ponder these thoughts. Peeta is looking at me worriedly but I feel no danger of tears...the thoughts I'm having...they're...happy not longing for something that will never happen.

"Finnick would be with Annie in District 4, with their baby boy," I say with a smile.

"I bet he's a real looker, with his father being the famous Finnick Odair and all," Peeta says.

"He probably has those same green eyes. Annie isn't bad looking either," I say thoughtfully.

"Yeah, when she isn't looking all insane," adds Peeta.

"I wonder how she's holding up, being a single mother plus the nightmares of her past," I say. I am suddenly worried, not just for Annie but for the baby. What if she goes on a rampage and harms the baby?

I feel Peeta's arms wrap around my waist. He sets his chin on my shoulder, "I'm sure she's fine. The baby probably helps her stay sane; gives her something to do."

"Yeah..." my mind thinks back to the interview of the Quarter Quell.

I lean my head on his and place my hands on top of where his rest. "Remember when you declared to all of Panem that I was pregnant," I say teasingly.

He laughs, "All too well. I thought it might save you." He kisses my neck.

"That's what we do, you and I we save each other." I turn around expecting a kiss. I expect to look into those blue eyes and find my burning love for him to be reflected. Instead I turn around to see a burning hatred in his eyes. His pupils are narrowed down at me, an intense expression on his face. They must have messed with that memory when he was being tortured at the Capitol.

"That's a lie," he spits out those three words with such remorse I shrink against the counter.

"What?" I say in disbelief. I reach for his hand but he smacks it away.

"You heard me. You are a filthy liar."

My hand stings but not as much as those words do.

"Peeta, no I'm not. You don't know what you're saying. You're...you're just having another episode. Just, just calm down alight? You'll be over it in a min-" He slaps me across the face and I let out a shriek of pain.

"I'll be alright?" he towers over me, "I'll be alright?" he shouts the second time. "I am perfectly fine Katniss. You're the one who's not alright. You low-life, dirty seductress. The one who killed everyone. It is all your fault. The thousands that died..all on you. FOR you. And you just threw their lifes away like rotten meat."

"Seductress? Puhh-lease. I couldn't even if I tried," I shouldn't be yelling at him but I continue anyway, "their deaths were President Snow's fault. Who also, for your information, hi-jacked you. That's why you're acting like a rambling idiot right now," I am speaking quite loudly now.

"No. You really think I'm gonna buy that?" he gives a deep laugh that is, honestly, quite frightening. "You are a deceiver, Katniss. I'm not going to believe a word you say," he yells in my face.

My hand is resting against my cheek. I need to get out of here so he can settle down, before he gets even more violent. I slowly lower my hand and reach behind me searching for the knife that I was using to cut up the deer. "That's not true Peeta, you know it isn't," I say trying to distract him so my actions don't look suspicous.

"Yes, it is," he insists with an insane smile that scares me terribly. It reminds me of Cato, who scares me. A frequent visitor in my haunting nightmares.

"No it's not. I love you," I say with forced calmness in my voice. I keep groping for the knife. _Where is that infernal thing? _I get answered by a sharp cut on my middle finger. I wince and hope he doesn't notice. I grasp the leather handle. I lunge at him with the knife, not to hurt him, just so that I can get away or knock some sense into him. He cacthes my hand though and twists it so I release the blade. I gasp in pain, eyes wide.

"You little schemer," Peeta says contemptuously, "What were you planning on doing with that? Killing me?"

"No, I was just going to knock some sense into you. You clearly need it," I say feistily because I know no amount of sweet talk is going to bring my Peeta back.

"What a shame you didn't get the chance. I guess I'll just do that to you instead."

This is it. My worst nightmare coming true. Peeta is going to kill me and after all these years I thought he was better, not completely but I for sure didn't think it was going to get this bad again. He grabs my arm with one hand and uses the other to press on my back. I propel forward. Straight for the hot stove. I try to brace my self with my hands and get rewarded with a snap in my arms. I yell in agony. My hands landed on the burners, which we had turned on to put the stew on.

I pull them off quickly, slapping them against my jeans even though they didn't actually catch on fire. There is a plus side to him pushing me over here though, I am closer to the entry of the room. I scramble out, but get yanked back. Peeta has a hold of my braid. I elbow him sharply in the gut, not thinking of him as my lover but as an enemy. My instincts that kept me alive through two Hunger Games, kicking in.

He releases my hair and run into the living room. I can't see clearly through the tears swimming in my eyes. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. Not Peeta. President Snow, for doing this terrible thing to my lover, my dandelion in the spring, the boy with the bread.

Peeta is yelling obscenities at me that I try to block out with no success. I know he doesn't mean them but they hurt because most of them are true. I am worthless. I am selfish. I am the reason thousands have died. I am the reason he's like this as well.

I can't see at all now because I'm sobbing. He picks me up around the waist while I kick and scream. I slap at his hands trying to get away but it probably hurts me more than it hurts him considering the burns. He throws me against the wall like a sack of flour. I crumple to the ground and hug my knees. Peeta leans down and whispers in my ear, "You deserve this. You know it deep down, you deserve all this, and worse."

And I do. I do know.

**What do y'all think? You guys did really good by reviewing last time so keep that up please, it makes me really happy! Once again it while be a bit before the next update! Hope this holds you over until then! I have over 360 visitors..yayyy(: One quick q: What's the difference between views and visitors? Kay thanks(: Muahh, have a good next couple days xoxodandelionnwishes**


	5. Recovering Or Trying To

**So, here is the long awaited next chapter. I've been busy! So I'm just going to let you read, Enjoy(:**

He slowly lifts me up and I groan in agony. I clutch my hand on my ribs. "Peeta," I whisper, "please."

Once I'm somewhat stable he relinquishes his hold on and me. I look up at him just in time to see his right hand pull back. I duck before the punch hits me square in the jaw. There is now a gaping hole in the wall. He brings back his hand with a fistful of plaster. It just seems to make him angrier tough because he throws it on the ground. He grabs my throat with one hand, choking me. I squeeze my eyes tightly because I can't bear to see that look in his eye any longer. Pure, despicable, infinite hatred, that's all I see.

Peeta punches me. The first blow goes to my left eye. The second hits me in the nose. I scream, but he isn't done yet. He hits me in the mouth, drawing blood and I almost gag on it. I brace myself for the next splurge of pain; close my eyes even tighter as more tears leak out. But it doesn't come. I ease open my eyes. Haymitch. He must have heard the ruckus and come over to investigate. He holds a bottle of white liquor in one hand and is holding back Peeta's arm in the other.

"Let her go," he growls. Instead, Peeta tightens his grip around my neck. I claw at it with both hands. He's cutting of my supply of air. I can't breath, and every time I try I choke on blood. Without another second's hesitation, Hamitch smashes the bottle of liquor over Peeta's head. He drops to the ground.

I take a deep breath and start coughing. Coughing up blood all over our white carpet. I massage my neck with my burnt hands. The red on the white reminds me of President Snow, with his white roses and scent of blood.

"You better get out of here sweetheart. I have no idea what kind of condition he'll be in when he wakes," says Haymitch depressingly.

I follow his advice and get the heck out of there. I want to stay because the one I love is hurting but I know I'm the one causing him that pain. I stumble over to Haymitch's house and walk through the door which was left wide open. Haymitch must've rushed over to our house swiftly. I quickly turn around just as I enter. I place both hands on the door frame, lean over, and hack up blood all over his porch. When I have somewhat recovered my breathing I walk over to the sink and turn on the cold water. I put my hands under the steady stream of ice; breath a sigh of relief.

I try to take deep even breaths like Peeta told me earlier, before his...episode. I start to gain control over my breathing. However, I cannot stop shaking. My hands, shoulders, legs, my entire body is shivering. The trauma that I just experienced is definitely going to leave a mark. Who cares though. It will just add to my numerous scars, that no makeup or treatment from the Capitol can erase. These are not wounds of my body but wounds of my mind, my sanity. Those are the worst kind. Pain I can endure but, emotions...I don't like to feel, especially when they're negative.

My hands are numb now so I turn the faucet off and go to the freezer to see if Haymitch has any ice. Luckily, he does. I switch off holding the ice to my eye, jaw, and nose which I'm pretty sure is broken. I get a glass of water and swish it around mouth, trying to get rid of the coppery taste the blood left behind. I'm trying really hard to keep it together, but my mind keeps wandering. What if it's permanent this time? What if he won't change back? What if he stays that heartless monster forever? What would I do then? What if, what if. All these thoughts and questions make my head ache. I place my elbows on the table and press my forehead into my clasped hands.

I simply try not to think at all, which is way harder then you would think; especially when you're as crazy as I am. I am crazy, insane maybe, I just...how long have I been here? Ten minutes? I think more because time has just seemed to be going in slow motion this entire day, through the good times and the bad. This day has been so contradictory it confuses me. Was it really just this morning we danced outside in the rain? It seems a lifetime away.

I'm starting to feel nauseous again so I run outside. I barely make it through the door before the acid burns through my throat and up to my mouth. Which reminds me, I still have not eaten today. Well, I certainly don't plan on it now. That's when I realize that the liquid isn't spewed onto Haymitch's porch, but his shoes. I slowly look up, taking note of his dirty pants, wrinkled, half-buttoned shirt and finally his ever greasy hair. He has a disgusted look on his face, nose scrunched up and all. I look worriedly at him but my mouth does not seem to be able to say even a quick 'sorry'.

Haymitch slips off his shoes, revealing dark gray socks with holes in them. He grabs my arm a little roughly and says, "Just walk inside, sweetheart."

On any other day he would have been furious, but not today. We walk into his kitchen and he pulls out a chair for me. I sit down because this is just so out of character for him. He takes the seat next to me. My words finally begin to work and I say, "Is he alright?"

My voice is hoarse from all the crying, screaming, hacking...oh and getting choked by my husband. "Back to normal I mean," I add swiftly since his reply isn't immediate.

"He is..." Haymitch pauses.

Why, Haymitch? Just tell me please. I can handle it. Alright, no I probably can't but you can't just beat around the bush about these things.

"Fine. As in back to normal," Haymitch lingers over these words, why? It's good news, so why the sour attitude?

"Thank God. Well, I'll just head over there then," I begin getting up, "Thank you so much Haymitch. I don't no what we would've done if-" He grabs my arm.

"What?" I say, aggravated.

"He doesn't want you to go back."

"What?" I say again.

"He's afraid he'll hurt you again Katniss. This was a close call. If I hadn't come over..." Haymitch drifts off again. _SO_ unlike him.

"I know, Haymitch. I know that if you hadn't come over I'd be dead right now. I do not care though. I've been almost dead plenty of times. I forgive him," I say, regaining some of my strong-willed personality back.

"I know you do, and he does too. The problem is that he doesn't forgive himself."

I let these words sink in. What does he mean he doesn't want me to come back, he can't mean permanently can he? My fear is that he does think that. Want it, even. To keep me safe.

"You can stay with me tonight," Haymitch says pulling me out of my thoughts, "however, I am quite sure neither of us want that to be the permanent arrangement."

He slumps over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of fresh liquor while I stand there in shock. He does mean it then. He does mean separated for eternity. I am not letting that happen. I have had everything taken away from me. No, not this time. I am going to fight just as hard as I did in the war. He is not getting rid of me that easily.

**Well, I hope you all liked it! I am going to try and post another chapter this weekend! We'll see though. I want to thank y'all with all of my heart! I have almost 600 visitors and an insane amount of views! I have tried to reply to all of your reviews but thanks again. Reviews are what keep me writing...so if you want to keep me writing...I'd take 30 secs to post a review(: Muahhh, xoxodandelionnwishes**

**Oh, and please do not steal any of my ideas, honestly they really aren't that great so come up with your own...and I'm sure your stories will be much better. Just saying that because people stole some of my dialogue and little things like that...NOT COOL. Please fix that. Sorry for my little rant.**


	6. Persuasion

**Well, I am not very happy with this at all but I didn't want to keep y'all waiting. I rewrote this chapter 3 times...I'm going through one of those I hate everything I write phases. Mehh, just keep in my mind I'm just a kid with and obsession with the Hunger Games and inspiration. So, I apologize in advance for this chapter...and here we go...**

I stomp out of Haymitch's house. He calls after me but I ignore him. I am going to make that fool see that we are not going to be separated. Not like this, not after so many years. Practically my whole body aches but I just try and ignore it. I walk into our home and see his silhouette outlined by the fire. He must have heard my foot steps even though I was trying my best to be quiet.

"Katniss, just leave. Please. I don't want to hurt you again." I can hear the pain in his voice.

"Did you really think I was going to stay away just because you told me to?"

"No, but I had hoped you would. I had hoped that you'd see what happened today and realize I can't control it as badly as I want to, I can't. I had hoped that you would realize your safety is more important to me then my own happiness."

"What about my happiness, Peeta? Do you care about that?" I ask.

He turns around and looks at me for the first time. Sorrow has replaced the hatred that was in his eyes, "Of course I do."

"The only way I will ever be happy is being with you. No matter where you are no matter what condition I will be there with you."

"Katniss," he begins. I quickly press my lips against his, let them linger. He pulls his face away but not his body.

"Katniss, don't, don't do that," he looks torn.

"What? This?" I kiss him again, trying to persuade him.

"Just, stop," he whispers painfully. I hate doing this to him, causing him to hurt but this is the only way to make him see.

"That's the first time you've ever told me that," I say plainly but it cuts deep.

"You're making this harder then it has to be," he isn't just sad now but he looks conflicted. I see that as a good sign.

"No, I'm making you see that you can't live without me just like I can't live without you," as I say the words I feel a tear drip down my face. The thought of losing him overwhelms me again, just like it has so many times before.

He takes a step away and I let him, "Look at yourself, Katniss, I caused it. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

He gestures at me face which is swollen, bruised and flecked with dry blood.

"You're hurting me by trying to separate yourself from me. That hurts more then any physical wound."

Peeta steps back towards me, looks me in the eye and says, "I'm so sorry."

We both have silent tears streaming down our faces now. He wraps his hand around my neck. He places his lips on my neck, working his way up to my face, each time he kisses me he whispers "I'm sorry". I just stand there with my eyes closed, relishing the moment, the warmth I feel everywhere his lips gently brush.

He takes a deep breath, swallows. "Stay with me? Please," he asks.

"Always," I reply with a note of happiness.

He tangles his hands in my hair and I press mine on his cheeks. He kisses me passionately. My back scrapes against the wall and his hands slide down to my waist. I pull back for second to say, "I told you so, you fool."

I feel him smile against my lips, "We are all fools in love."

I let out a small laugh that turns into a shriek as he tightly wraps his arms around me.

"Sorry," he says concernedly and pulls back.

"I'm okay." _Lies_, my ribs scream at me. "Don't stop."

And he doesn't. We stay there until dawn breaks. We finally untangle ourselves from one another and he picks me up and carries me up the stairs to our bedroom. I want to say something about how much he means to me but words have never been my strong point. I just let the moment pass as we settle into bed. He pulls me close and says, "I love you."

And that's when I realize there doesn't always need to be some elaborate metaphor or well thought paragraph. Those three words are really all that need to be said. They mean the most.

"I love you, too."

**Well, I hope you enjoyed it more then I did! Please review so I can improve(: I will probably update this weekend. Stay classy(: xoxodandelionnwishes **


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